The ball of Kerrymuir

Four and twenty virgins,
came down from Inverness.
And when the ball was over,
there were four and twenty less.

Chorus: Swing your balls to your partner,
arse against the wall.
if you've never been f**** on a Saturdaynight
you've never been f***** at all.

There was necking in the parlour,
and fucking on the stairs.
You could hardly see the carpet,
for the cunts and pubic hairs.

There was fucking in the kitchen,
and fucking in the halls.
You couldn't hear the music,
for the clanging of the balls.

There was rooting in the rafters,
there was rooting in the ricks.
You couldn't hear the music,
for the swishing of the pricks.

Mrs O'Malley, she was there,
she had us all in fits.
Jumping of the mantelpiece ,
and landing on her tits.

The village magician he was there,
doing his favorite trick.
Pulling his foreskin over his head,
and vanishing in his prick.

"Joe the Plumber", he was there,
he felt an awful fool.
He'd come eleven miles or more,
and forgot to bring his tool.